VittlesVamp

Welcoming Loretta To My Kitchen

Death reached my doorstep last week. My refrigerator died in an untimely fashion in the height of summer.

Aargh!

You don't know how good you have it until it's gone. And, my fridge and freezer was most certainly a goner. Hundreds of dollars of food needed to be tossed.

It was a sad day in my kitchen.

But, there was little time to mourn. As we all well-know from "The Lion King," the circle of life persists. A new refrigerator would be had.

I sought counsel from Consumer Reports and then placed an order for a LG French door unit that arrived late Friday. And, as the delivery team gently put the new refrigerator into place, I had an epiphany.

I had failed my previous fridge. It was a warhorse in my home, and yet I hadn't given it the love and admiration it deserved.

Things had been so different with another major kitchen appliance: my trusty dishwasher. Within moments of it entering my home, I was besotted and immediately decided that a name was called for. What name? Sven. Seriously. I like thinking that Sven is my buff manservant, at-the-ready, with dish cleaning expertise. Five course dinner party for six? Clean-up isn't a worry. "Make it all clean for me, Sven!," I cry out. And, he does.

It's a great relationship - and one, I suddenly realized, that had been going for about a decade.

Now, I need to make the same kind of commitment to the newest appliance in my home. So, please meet Loretta. She is beautiful and tough - and can be cold as ice when she needs to be (which is always).

She is going to fit in around here just fine!

The Truth Is...

You're looking at this table filled to overflowing with barbecue goodness at Brooklyn's Morgan's BBQ, and you're thinking I'll regale you with tales of Papa Vamp introducing me to my first-ever taste of slow smoked brisket. Well, the truth is that I don't think Dad and I've ever gone out for real deal 'cue together.

But, it is Father's Day, so I felt that a meaty spread was a necessity in order to capture your attention. And, while my father didn't teach me about the beauty of Texas-style smoked meats, I do have one particular Papa Vamp food memory that makes me smile - his Sunday morning "Bagel Supreme" ritual. When I was a kid, every couple of Sundays or so, he'd come back from the local deli and sit at the kitchen table, cutting a sesame bagel in half, scooping out the innards, slathering cream cheese on both sides, layering each with belly lox, adding sliced tomato and lettuce before merging the two halves together to make a whole.

This was Papa Vamp's specialty.

And on this Father's Day, while I think I might need to take him out for some proper barbecue the next time we get together, I'm also hoping that we can share a "Bagel Supreme" at Sunday brunch.

Must Keep Breathing Through My Kitchen Renovation

I don't live in a big apartment. So, when I decided to renovate my kitchen -- re-Vamp it, if you will -- I knew it'd be a bit chaotic. I just didn't realize that overhauling my kitchen meant dispersing its contents throughout my whole place.

At present, my dining table is brimming with pots, pans, strainers, silver and ramekins piled high. Groceries are plopped around the place in a variety of Bloomingdale's, Aerosoles and I Love NY bags. The coffee maker has claimed its own chair, as has my collection of cutting boards. Dishes, flatware and bowls are shoved into the armoire. Spices, bakeware, glasses, bowls aplenty and more are taking shelter in my clothes closet.

In other words: I'm hanging by a thread.

The work is coming along nicely. Scratch that -- beautifully. I know I don't want a slap-dash job, but right now my home is feeling rather slappy and dashy.

I should only have a week or so to go. I'm breathing deep. Trying to remain calm. But, from the trivets and salt and pepper shaker sitting on the window sill to the whisk, spatula and potato masher being kept on my nightstand, it's hard not to be worn down.

Wait! Never mind. That last one might end up being a good thing after all. And, my contractor is awfully cute...

A Re-Vamp

You may have noticed a few changes in the look of VittlesVamp. Spring is several weeks away, but I still felt like it was time for a bit of renewal. A sprucing up seemed in order.

My revamp isn't over. Expect a few other changes and tweaks.

In a few short weeks the spring radishes will once again make an appearance at Greenmarkets around New York. By that time my redesign should be fully in place.

Maybe I'll celebrate by dunking a few of these gorgeous pink beauties in a salty bagna cauda, dining on them lustfully alongside a bottle of vino. Hopefully with company.

Let me know if you have any suggestions for the site, festive springtime fare and/or if you wish to join my table when the time comes -- because when the revamp is done, I'll surely be ready to relax.

Awry

So, I did a stupid thing. At the same time I decided to renovate my apartment, I decided to renovate the back-end of my blog.

It's taken a while for my apartment to get back in order -- and same goes for VittlesVamp.

Tasty morsels to follow...

A Beef With Westland/Hallmark Beef

This is one of those news stories that can make you sick to your stomach, if you aren't sick from Westland/Hallmark beef already:

The U.S. Department of Agriculture on Sunday ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from a California slaughterhouse, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation, that provided meat to school lunch programs.

Officials said it was the largest beef recall in the United States, surpassing a 1999 ban of 35 million pounds of ready-to-eat meats...

Federal officials suspended operations at Westland/Hallmark after an undercover video from the Humane Society of the United States surfaced showing crippled and sick animals being shoved with forklifts.

Two former employees were charged Friday. Five felony counts of animal cruelty and three misdemeanors were filed against a pen manager. Three misdemeanor counts — illegal movement of a non-ambulatory animal — were filed against an employee who worked under that manager. Both were fired.

Authorities said the video showed workers kicking, shocking and otherwise abusing "downer" animals that were apparently too sick or injured to walk into the slaughterhouse. Some animals had water forced down their throats, San Bernardino County prosecutor Michael Ramos said.

No charges have been filed against Westland, but an investigation by federal authorities continues.

Officials estimate that about 37 million pounds of the recalled beef went to school programs, but they believe most of the meat probably has already been eaten.

Ron Paul's Secret Southwestern Weapon

You might be tired of listening to all the back n' forth in political circles about Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee, but this is truly a presidential hopeful story for the ages - if not the watercooler, or better yet SNL:

As Ron Paul continues to trail in the polls, followers now face the harsh reality that their man of great promise has little to nil chance of winning the Republican primary, let alone the 2008 presidency. Yet, they are showing no signs of throwing in the towel. Instead, they are encouraged by reports from the Southwest of the phenomena of the image of Ron Paul appearing on tortillas as a sign from Heaven to continue the good fight...

If you too are moved by this tortilla tale, check out the whole saga on Spoof.com.

Note to Ron Paul: You may want to consider hiring the Spoof.com team to help out with the campaign. Seriously.

Rice Economic Indicators

Not talking about any sort of economic forecasts from Condeleeza Rice. Nope. Just going for the Uncle Ben's variety.

According to today's Wall Street Journal:

The global commodities boom that has lifted prices of everything from gasoline to gold is now elevating rice -- a staple food for half of the world -- to its highest level in nearly 20 years.

Rice's surge has complex consequences for the global economy. Used in everything from sushi to burritos to Rice Krispies, the ubiquitous grain is suffering poor harvests and tight supplies in some of the biggest rice-exporting and rice-consuming nations, just as demand grows in places like India and the Philippines.

The higher price is a boon for some farmers and investors. But at the same time, it is expected to contribute to a protracted bout of food-price inflation for the foreseeable future, which could widen the rift between the world's haves and have-nots.

Sealing the deal that rice is the "next big thing," the article goes on to say that now non-traditonal players, like hedge funds, are starting to trade in rice.

Hedge funds trading in rice? Hafta wonder if they place more value on brown rice versus white...Hmm...And, how much is that leftover Chinese Pork Fried Rice in my fridge worth?

The Putnam County Donut Rebellion

First Putnam County had a famous elementary school spelling bee. Now the county has its very own famous senior citizen donut revolt.

According to today's New York Times, health officials have been trying to put a halt to the free donuts dispensed at a local senior citizen center. And, let's just say that the old folks aren't taking the donut denial lightly:

Joe Hajkowski, a 75-year-old retired sprinkler fitter who lives in nearby Putnam Valley, is a man on a mission: to reinstate the free doughnuts at the day center for older people here that he visits regularly.

It doesn’t even matter that he usually skips the sugary snacks, indulging only on the rare early-morning fishing jaunt. “I don’t eat those things, but at my age, I don’t need to be told I can’t,” said the craggy-faced Mr. Hajkowski. “We’re being treated like senile citizens, not senior citizens.”

Mr. Hajkowski was referring to a four-month dispute here, about 50 miles north of Midtown Manhattan, which has attracted the attention of the national news media — and pitted the public health monitors in Putnam County against its elders’ belief in their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of a leftover cruller.

It all started in May, when William H. Huestis, director of the Putnam County Office for the Aging, decided to take the morning doughnuts, muffins, bread and other donated, day-old baked goods away from the William Koehler Memorial Senior Center in Mahopac and from centers in four other towns in the county...

...In short order, Mr. Hajkowski and his doughnut-deprived comrades struck back, sending Mr. Huestis a petition with more than 250 signatures. It said: “We want our donuts back. We are old enough to know whether we should eat them or not.”...

...Now Mr. Hajkowski and his cadre of about a dozen hard-core supporters are upping the ante. In a side room at the Mahopac center on Tuesday, while about 80 of their peers hunkered down in a bright, airy dining room for an intense hour of postprandial bingo, Mr. Hajkowski and five others showed off posters they intended to brandish at protests in front of the various centers. (They plan to picket sometime in the next two weeks, Mr. Hajkowski revealed guardedly.)

“Our Choice: Death by Lethal Donuts,” read one placard.

Another read: “They’re Carbs, Not Contraband.”

“We’re all smart seniors,” said Bea Paniconi, 76, of Mahopac, a retired legal secretary and the only woman in Mr. Hajkowski’s doughnut corps. “We have the right to choose what we can eat.”

She said that adding to her daily diet a jelly doughnut and a serving of a liquid nutritional supplement had helped her increase her weight above a very frail 75 pounds. “My doctor said to keep up the good work,” she added.

Gee whiz! This might have the makings of a hit Broadway musical!

The Dog Ate My Blog

Well, actually it was my server.

You may have noticed that the site has been down for the last two weeks. Hope your VittlesVamp withdrawal wasn't too painful. Goodness knows, it was painful enough for yours truly.

The site was experiencing a server issue due to constant comment spam attacks. Now I'm back online, but there may be another bump in the road around the bend, when I attempt to switch hosting servers -- while patting my head and rubbing my tummy.

I've got to say that it was a dreadful time for the site to go down. There was so much I wanted to cover:

*My continued obsession with burgers, underscored by a well thought out pitch from a Men's Vogue publicist suggesting I check out their article about The Hamburger Wars.

*A new twist on my burger obsession, downing a nifty Greek Swordfish Slider at Anthos, while spying WD-50 Chef Wylie Dufresne in the corner of the dining room enjoying his lunch almost as much as I was enjoying mine.

*Another year, another Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Champ -- proving there is more to life than burgers.

*The Manhattan Oyster Bar Wars begin - landing a New York Times cover story.

*Warnings about tainted food imports from China prompt promises of "clean" plates at the 2008 Beijing Olympics.

And there was so much more -- including trips to glamorous San Francisco and exotic Newark. (C'mon, I might have lost my blog for a while there, but not my sense of humor!)