VittlesVamp

Beef in Buenos Aires

You've been more than patient.

In all honesty, I had intended to write this bife-focused post a while ago, but an incredibly hectic work schedule got in the way. (It does pay the bills - including those for steak!)

To start things off, I have to say that the title of this post is a bit of a misnomer.

I most certainly was thrilled by bovine delights in Buenos Aires. Bife de lomo at Don Julio, unquestionably my favorite classic parrilla in town, is lip-smacking beefy goodness. For a modern twist on the traditional steakhouse, La Carniceria is a genius, meat-riffic spot for mammoth cuts of beef and inventive sides. And, for a steak sandwich that's so luscious that you'll wonder why you would ever slap anything but lomo between two slices of bread, I suggest you head to La Rambla cafe.

Furthermore, with meat counters that celebrate beef in all of its moo-worthy glory - like the breathtaking one above - I couldn't resist cooking up steak in BA either. Beautiful butcher shops aside, even the packaged steaks at Jumbo (Argentina's local answer to Walmart) were killer.

But, the very best bife I had on the entire trip was not in BA. It was in Mendoza, at Francis Mallmann's 1884, where fire reigned supreme in the courtyard and asado-savvy chefs prepared various cuts on open flame.

Now I'm sure you're wondering a la Wendy's: "Where's the beef?" Or in this case: "Where is my food porn photo of steak?!?"

I am sorry to disappoint. I was salivating so, that when my gargantuan plate of Rib Eye with Chimichurri and Patagonia-style Potatoes hit the table, I didn't have the wherewithal to snap a decent photo of the dish.

Deal with disappointment.

Or better yet, book yourself a plane ticket to Argentina and get your beef lovin' freak on. I highly recommend it.

My Culinary Review Of The Last Supper

I am baffled. How did I miss stopping at Tierra Santa during my previous trip to Buenos Aires? Well, that mistake was rectified this go-around.

The religious theme park, complete with life-size Biblical dioramas seemingly made of Play-doh, actors dressed in ancient Roman military garb, and a 40-foot statue of Jesus that "rises" from a mountain top on the hour, was a must-do on my BA bucket list.

Main reason for my visit?: A chance to witness the Last Supper first-hand, complete with the apostles coming to life via animatronic technology.

Main purpose?: To finally offer up a review of the Last Supper from a culinary perspective. As a friend remarked before I left for Argentina, much has been said of this critical dinner in Biblical history, but not on the gastronomic front.

Walking into the park's Last Supper tableau, I quickly realized that authenticity was not to be had...

Do you see what I see?

That's right folks. That there is leavened bread. Now, I may be a Hebrew School dropout, but I do believe that the Last Supper was a Passover seder -- and at seder, we only eat unleavened bread, better known today as Matzoh.

And, in case you're thinking that maybe that isn't bread up on the table above -- a roasted pumpkin perhaps? -- the team at Tierra Santa made sure you weren't the least bit confused, showing some ladies actually making and retrieving the bread in the rear of the auditorium...

Yeah. Well. I am going to give them a pass on the wine and assume it was Kosher. At least there wasn't roast suckling pig on the Pesach table.

And, now of course you think I'm stalling. Where is the post on the beef in Buenos Aires?!? Review of the Last Supper? How about a review of the last Parilla you visited?!?

I promise, it's up next.