VittlesVamp

Dancing In The Aisles - At Gristedes?

I had to pinch myself. Was it possible that I was actually in my neighborhood Gristedes supermarket or had I been transported to some remarkable gourmet grocery store in a magical land far, far away?

First I met a friendly butcher. So friendly that he offered to get me a shopping basket while I perused the selection of chickens. So friendly that he even placed a special order for me for pick-up on Monday. I was there when he called it in, demanding the highest quality for a "special customer."

What was really weird about it though: I've been going to this Gristedes for years and never once laid eyes on a butcher. Ever! Was he simply a figment of my foodie imagination? Guess I'll find out on Monday.

But the freakiness didn't end at the butcher aisle. It continued at the checkout aisle, where Cheryl Lynn's classic disco tune Got To Be Real blasted from the speakers, inspiring a checkout cashier to start shimmying. The song got to me too. I was possessed. I started swaying. We synced up our dance moves. Whooping and gyrating commenced.

I'm home now. Shopping bags unpacked. And I still have a bit of groove in my step. Gristedes groove.

Who would have guessed it was possible?

The Passing Of The Knife

I had the distinct honor and incredible pleasure of meeting one of my idols last week: Chef Michael Romano of Union Square Cafe fame.

I've been a longtime fan and seized the opportunity to place the winning bid on one of his chef's knives during a recent Slow Food NYC auction.

It took a while, but finally I was able to secure a coveted time slot to pick it up from the "man behind the Filet Mignon of Tuna."

He made it worth the wait. Dressed in a dapper suit and tie and wearing a warm smile, Romano offered a chuckle as he noticed that my copy of the Union Square Cafe Cookbook was a first edition. He pointed out some secret "mistakes" in the well-worn book and then proceeded to sign it in bright red ink before he handed me my real prize -- a handsome Wusthof knife.

And, as I tucked it in my leather bag to keep the blade safe and sound, I asked for one more little favor from Chef Romano: a snapshot. As you can see, he amiably complied. Heck, he was even a good sport about offering up a "V" for the photo. A "V" not so much for victory, but for VittlesVamp.

It goes without saying, he's no longer just an idol. Now, I've got a bit of a crush as well.

Bolognese Three Ways

Despite the recent heatwave, with temperatures hitting the balmy 40s, overall it's been a blustery winter. The season's chill calls for stews, soups and, in my case, a warming bowl of pasta or two -- or three. And, nothing says comforting Mediterranean rustic like al dente rigatoni, pappardelle or penne tossed in a tomato-rich meat sauce.

Above, a special appetizer portion of fresh rigatoni from the theater district's Southern French brasserie Marseille. True solace after braving fierce winds in search of fine dining following a Time Square flick.

Below, Falai Caffe's ever-popular Butternut Squash pappardelle with Wild Boar Ragu, gorgeous to look at and gorgeous to eat.

And, last but not least, my own homemade penne rendition made with San Marzano tomatoes, butter, a splash of Balsamic vinegar, sweet Italian sausage, sauteed red onion, fresh julienned basil and a grating of sharp Pecorino cheese.

Don't for a second think I'm done. We have more than two months of frosty weather to contend with here in NYC. Another bowl of bolognese will likely be necessary.

Carnivore Contraband

According to today's Wall Street Journal, the "Underwear Bomber" may not have have caused the destruction he desired, but oddly enough, he has dashed the dreams of meat-loving Americans.

In the wake of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's failed underpants bombing attempt on Christmas, the new slate of airport scrutiny -- pat-down searches, body scans and more-meticulous baggage examinations -- is throwing a monkey wrench in the plans of chefs hoping to sneak in a salami or ham from a faraway land:

Such measures might discourage terrorists, but they are also likely to catch chefs smuggling meat from Europe. Chefs such as Rey Knight, who once flew from Italy to Miami with a pork shoulder and fennel-pollen salami vacuum-sealed and hidden inside a stainless-steel water bottle. Another time, he says, he hid a 4-pound goose-liver torchon from France inside the belly of a salmon...

...Mr. Knight and other chefs go to such lengths because it is illegal to bring many of the world's most treasured meats into the country. (Fish are OK.) The government calls this smuggling. But chefs say their motives are mainly educational: They use them to reverse-engineer their own versions.

Apparently, Knight and other carnivore devotees have gone as far as to hire professional labs to analyze the foreign finocchiona and such, in order to recreate it here in the States. An admirable pursuit in my opinion, but customs officials seem to disagree:

Smuggling is something you do with drugs or kids," jokes executive chef Chris Cosentino, whose San Francisco restaurant Incanto specializes in dishes that use most every part of an animal. "Our goal is to improve the food system."...

...Because customs officials once caught him with sausages made from donkey parts hidden in shoes packed in his luggage, Mr. Cosentino's bags were already subject to extra attention. He once got around that by duct taping to the inside of his blue jeans seeds for a special variety of chicory he found at a pet-food store in Bologna, Italy. Scanners able to see through clothing, now being installed in many foreign airports, should put an end to such practices.

Don't the U.S. Customs Office and Office of Homeland Security have more important things to worry about than these sorts of chef shenanigans?

Boffo Breakfast

An Egg McMuffin gone to gourmet nirvana is what this is. Courtesy of Bark's weekend-only breakfast menu, it's a toasted Bay's English Muffin topped with a slow-cooked and butter-drizzled egg, crisp slices of smoked bacon, and a melted slice of sharp Grafton Cheddar. All in all, a serious breakfast -- especially if you order up a side of the Park Slope hot doggery's Hash Browns...

More Tater Tot than Hash Brown-esque, these lightly fried, deep brown beauties won't take you back to the childhood you remember. They'll take you to the childhood you wish you had. One that features sublime, savory Potato Beignets.

Heck, forget about childhood. I'm just glad that I am having an adulthood that has finally convinced me that breakfast is indeed the most important meal of the day.

Tranny Cafe In Brooklyn Heights?

Likely that isn't what the new owners of the Clark Street subway arcade deli had in mind when they renamed the spot from its former moniker, Chess Classic Cafe. Nevertheless, I stopped short when I saw the new sign.

TranZEat Cafe

I know they are trying to play on the word "transit," but when you say it out loud you can't help but conjure up thoughts of Hedda Lettuce and Lypsinka convening there for a morning coffee and bagel.

Keep On Truckin'

First Calexico jumped the cart and hit Court Street in Carroll Gardens.

Then Dessert Truck decided to go all "brick-and-mortar" on the Lower East Side.

Now word is that Van Leeuwen Ice Cream is going to have a storefront in Greenpoint.

Taking the trend West coast, Kogi Korean Taco Truck legend Chef Roy Choi is heading indoors as well, despite LA's temperate clime.

Still, there is something undeniably tempting about street food. Moving to a four walls and a roof situation just doesn't have the same vibe. And, no matter how many street meat operations go restaurant, I firmly believe that dining al fresco from well-wheeled vendors is here to stay.

If you agree, sign up as a Vendy Awards Facebook fan and start following their Twitter feed for good measure too.

After all, the Vendy Awards have been called "the Oscars of the street food scene" here in New York. Now, if only this year's event included a red carpet entrance! (Made of ketchup or Sriracha chili paste perhaps?)

Food Porn Week - New Year's Eve Chicken

Ringing in 2010 required friends -- friends and a meal that was cheery, elegant and utterly scrumptious. My friends arrived and my kitchen provided: Hearts of Romaine with Creamy Lemon Dressing; a Garlic-Thyme Roast Chicken with Red Bliss Potatoes, Sweet Carrots and thick rounds of caramelized Spanish Onion; and slices of Pecan Pie piled high with mounds of Whipped Cream.

Happy New Year! May it be filled with pleasures of the heart, the mind and the table.