VittlesVamp

I'm Back - And At Bacaro

I was beginning to feel like a shut in. It was getting unattractive -- and that is unacceptable.

So, I slapped some makeup on my face, put a comb through my hair and made my way down to the bowels of Chinatown to meet my friend Tobi for a mellow version of a "night on the town."

She picked the perfect hot spot, Chef Frank De Carlo's Venetian pub Bacaro.

Bacaro was just hot enough for the evening's festivities. It was busy, but we could still land premium seats at the bar and the bartender even had enough bandwidth to chat with us for a spell. Between that, the bar room's "rough-hewn meets The Grand Canal" feel, its soft candlelit lighting scheme and a lovely glass of vino, and I was feeling healthier by the second.

A bright, crisp salad of Green Beans and White Anchovies (pictured above) set the meal off on a good start with a wonderful mouth-puckering vinegary wallop. Sardines en Saor kept things humming along nicely. And, a rich, tempting platter of stewed White Beans with Braised Duck Leg had me at "hello" with its crisp skin and sprinkling of garlic-scented breadcrumbs and herbs.

A sneeze, a breath, a cough or two, and then a bite or two of a decadent Panna Cotta, followed by a few sips of dessert wine, and I felt fortified. Not fully on top of my game. But, certainly fortified.

I might not be 100% in body and soul yet, but I will say that my faux trip to Venice helped in the soul arena -- and furthermore, I'm pretty sure that the body fared well in the bargain too.

Hot Diggity Dog

I may not be in the pink of health yet, but the sight of these plump, juicy, pink dogs inspire me to jump out of my sick bed and rustle one up right now. Is it their decidedly phallic shape that calls to me? Or is it simply the divine chili and relish toppings that get my heart going pitter-pat? (Not that one or two of these suckers couldn't stop my heart from going pitter-pat, if I don't keep up my gym regimen!)

Well, all I can say is that today's Wall Street Journal profile of the best hot dogs in America got me to thinking about the glories of Hebrew National, Nathan's and alike.

Mmmm. Barbecue season is approaching. A dog on the grill could be a must-do. Something to look forward to...as I continue to cough up a lung.

Still Ill

I am better, but I'm most certainly not well. Moreover, at this point I've definitely OD-ed on honey.

Time to turn to the tried and true: drugs and childhood comforts.

Drugs come in the form of over-the-counter stuff with glam names like Gualfenesin and Phenylephrine.

Childhood comforts will come in the form of tonight's supper: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese straight out of the box with the fortifying addition of chunk light tuna straight out of the can. A bright red MacIntosh apple will serve as dessert.

Mock this meal all you want, but I'm looking forward to it. And to top it off, I'm planning to tuck into my hearty supper while watching a classic kid's vid -- The Little Mermaid.

Heck, if this remedy doesn't set me to rights, at least I'll have had a good time. (Besides, I'm into the whole thematic thing between the tuna and the sea-themed flick...Yeah...I'm sick alright...)

The Sweet Life

I'm sick. Not sick in a cool, hip, twisted kind of humor way. Sick in the sniffling, coughing, hacking kind of way.

My throat has been seriously sore for days and lozenges weren't cutting it.

So, I turned to copious amounts of tea. It didn't work either.

So, in turn, I turned to the Internet to discover that if I really wanted to soothe my throat, I would need to down a sweet, thick, viscous substance: honey.

Luckily, I have a jar of some high-octane organic honey from Italy in my cupboard.

A few spoonfuls later and I'm starting to feel a bit better.

Still, I think it's best to down a few spoonfuls of Haagen-Daz Vanilla Honey Ice Cream later too, just to keep myself on the road to recovery.

Vodka Was Only The Beginning...

Vodka. Mother's milk in Mother Russia. That's what we came for. That's what we expected when we got off the Q train in Brighton Beach to attend Elisabeth's birthday at the famous supper club The National.

We knew food would be included in the dinner price, but we figured the food was despite the point. Well, for being despite the point, there was quite a lot of it -- Blinis with Salmon Roe, a platter of Smoked Sturgeon, thin slices of Boiled Beef Tongue...

...Pickled Tomatoes, Cold Smoked Herring, Roasted Duck with Noodles and Gravy...

...Eggplant Stuffed with Goat Cheese, Beef Stroganoff and Fish with Mussels in Cream Sauce.

Thank goodness we had the vodka to settle our stomachs. The liquor was all the more necessary once the entertainment hit the stage.

It was surreal. It was the 70's. Russia in the 70's on crack cocaine.

We had no choice. We had to get up and dance.

And it was good.

And then the curtain closed.

And we were happy.

More vodka arrived. So did more food.

And it was good.

And then the curtain re-opened.

And it was bad. Very bad. So bad it was good.

A picture tells a thousands words...

From musical skits involving hoop skirts to singers in Hassidic costumes and Elvis impersonators to a belting black diva in skin-tight denim it was a hoot and a half. And just when we thought it was over, there was more...

Let me just say, that no one should have to witness grown women dressed as Mouseketeers at 2am -- unless it's a special order from a place like The Emperor's Club.

It was our cue to go home. And home we went, if only to dream of Blinis and Caviar, Russian ballet and a never-ending bottle of vodka.

Green Beer? Just Say "No"

Why? Why do American pub owners persist in trying to get gaggles of Irish descendants drunk on green beer on St. Patrick's Day? Better they simply stick to pints of Guinness.

Or, even better yet, forget about fighting the crowds this St. Patrick's day. Instead, buy yourself a bottle of Jameson's 18-Year Old Reserve Irish Whiskey and whip up a couple of loaves of Irish Soda Bread to make a real meal of it!

Below is a recipe for the latter from America's Irish heartland (a.k.a. Boston, courtesy of The Boston Globe):

Irish Soda Bread
Makes 2 loaves

*Note: The baking sheet that holds these soda breads must be heavy or the bottoms may brown before the interiors are baked through.

Ingredients:

4 cups flour
4 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons freshly grated nutmeg
6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into chunks
1 1/2 cups thick buttermilk
2 egg yolks
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups golden raisins
Extra flour (for sprinkling)
2 extra tablespoons granulated or crystallized sugar (for sprinkling)

1. Set the oven at 375 degrees. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, 6 tablespoons of sugar, and nutmeg. Scatter the chunks of butter over the flour and, using a pastry blender or two blunt knives, cut the fat into the flour until it reduces to pea-size bits.

3. In another bowl, whisk together the buttermilk, egg yolks, and vanilla. Pour the liquids over the flour mixture and scatter the raisins on top. Use a wooden spoon to stir the mixture to form a moist dough. Knead the dough lightly in the bowl for 15 seconds.

4. On a lightly floured counter, divide the dough in half. Form each half into a well-domed ball measuring 5 to 5 1/2 inches in diameter. Place each ball on the baking sheet, spacing them about 5 inches apart. With a small, sharp knife, slash the top in the shape of a cross ( 1/4- to 1/2-inch deep). Sprinkle the top of each dough ball with 1 tablespoon granulated or crystallized sugar.

5. Bake the breads for 40 minutes or until they are set and golden. Transfer to wire racks and cool for 30 minutes.

Fast Food Squid Buns

Fast food. The global perspective. From today's Wall Street Journal:

Homegrown Vietnamese fast-food companies are using Western branding techniques to grab a chunk of the country's fast-growing consumer market before U.S. heavyweights like McDonald's Corp. can sink their teeth into it.

After North Vietnamese troops marched into this city in 1975, then-21-year-old Tran Kim Thanh was ordered from his family's baking-supplies store. He was sent to work kneading buns and baguettes for the newly united Communist country at a state-owned bakery. Today, Vietnam is racing to embrace capitalism, and Mr. Thanh's Kinh Do Foods Corp. has become one of the country's biggest consumer companies, with a market capitalization of around $400 million. The company, which is publicly traded on Vietnam's stock exchange, is backed by investors including Citigroup Inc., Britain's Prudential Insurance PLC and one of Singapore's sovereign-wealth funds.

Kinh Do's distinctive red and yellow stores -- which sell specialties like dried-squid buns -- have become iconic symbols of the commercialization of everyday life in modern Vietnam.

"Vietnam is integrating with the rest of the world, and we have a very short learning curve to climb if we are to be ready to compete with foreign companies when they come here," says Mr. Thanh, who also goes by the name of Paul Tan. Since launching his fast-food chain in 1993, he has expanded his empire to include shopping malls. Soon, he plans to start a business offering consumer loans for household appliances and motorcycles...

Dried-squid buns and motorcycles. Two great tastes that taste great together.

Taco Kisses

Last we left our intrepid Latin American food vendors at Red Hook's soccer fields, they were in danger of being forced out of the park by the city government.

Well, apparently, these fine makers of tacos, pupusas and ceviche are going to be allowed to return to Red Hook once more -- or six more as it were. According to the Associated Press:

The soccer tacos have been saved, after a monthslong fight pitting city regulation against a delicious tradition...

...The department previously threatened to effectively end the seasonal, decades-old culinary draw, which provided Latino New Yorkers a taste of home while they watched weekend soccer tournaments and offered the city's foodies a bite of authenticity.

"It's a family affair, not just for the vendors ... but also for our patrons," Cesar Fuentes, executive director of the Food Vendors Committee of Red Hook Park. "It's 33 years that we've been in that park. That means there are a couple of generations that have grown up eating there."

New Yorkers had organized a fierce campaign to "save the soccer tacos," located in a working-class neighborhood that has recently become a hub for gentrification and commercial development. The city's food bloggers religiously followed the vendors' plight, and the cause attracted high-profile supporters including New York Democrat Sen. Charles Schumer.

"The vendors have been at the vanguard of the Red Hook renaissance, and now they have another six years to continue their delectable work," Schumer said Monday in a statement.

Making A Glorious Meal Out Of Crumbs

Sometimes you happen upon a book that you just want to gulp down in one sitting. Such is the case with Kim Sunée's memoir Trail of Crumbs: Hunger, Love And the Search For Home.

Currently Cottage Living's food editor, Sunée shares her tale of abandonment in Korea, adoption in New Orleans and whirlwind passions in Europe. Throughout, she weaves in stories about her love for cooking and food, whether sharing the step-by-step instructions for her Poppy's authentic N'awlins Crawfish Bisque or the complex recipe for a very sophisticated Chocolate Cake with Marscapone-Chestnut Cream. And, though love - in many forms - was in abundance in her early years and young adulthood, even affection, ardor, great friends, the country roads of Provence, the city streets of Paris and the delectable food she prepares can't assuage her true hunger: a longing for identity.

Every page was delicious.

*Update: Kim Sunée will be in New York on March 19th, speaking about her book that evening at The Korea Society. For more info, check out this link.

Puck vs. Park

It's become an annual tradition. I trek to the Puck in the blustery cold. There, I swirl and sip some of Italy's finest wines, while enjoying the view. The view consists of a steady stream of attractive Italian men in attractive Italian suits.

Aaaah, the Tre Bicchieri, sponsored by Gambero Rosso and Slow Food, showcasing over a hundred different vino in all its glory.

This year, however, I wasn't enchanted.

This year, it wasn't at the Puck. Instead, it was at 583 Park Avenue.

Suddenly the stifling crowds of signores didn't feel hip and cool. Nope. They simply felt stifling.

Who knew that uptown could feel so...uppity? Even tastes of an Elena Fucci Aglianico del Vulture Titolo 2005 and a Pietracupa Greco di Tufo 2006 couldn't dissuade me from exiting bid haste.

I can only hope that next year, it's back downtown. Otherwise, I may have to find my Italian wine and Italian men elsewhere.