VittlesVamp

Chinatown Noodle Crawl

Noodles. Oodles of noodles. Authentic hand-pulled noodles. That's what I was after. A trip to Manhattan's Chinatown for a full-on noodle crawl with Copyboy, Mrs. Copboy and the tow-headed Copyboy progeny was planned.

First stop was Lan Zhou Fresh Handmade Noodles, a dingy spot off of East Broadway. The sandwich board menu sign outside was makeshift to say the least. But how was the noodle making?

Breathtaking. As the deft hands of the noodle maker wound the dough round and round in mid-air, it reminded me of a bizarre food-play version of the childhood game Cat's Cradle.

This, however, was no game. This was expert noodle artistry. If that wasn't clear in watching the noodles' preparation, it became quickly apparent upon one hearty slurp of our bowl of Beef Noodle Soup...

The broth was a tad spicy. The chunks of stewed beef were toothsome. The noodles were long, tender and addictive.

It was only once every single noodle was devoured that we agreed to move on. It was tempting to simply stay put and order another bowl, but we resisted. Besides, Grand Sichuan International's Chinatown outpost beckoned. We had heard tale that their Dan Dan Noodles were the genuine article.

Having never traveled to China myself, I can't confirm or deny the authenticity of Grand Sichuan's Dan Dan offerings (a bowlful is pictured below), but I can say this: DAMN, THEY'RE HOT!!!!

One slippery, chili oil-coated noodle gloriously consumed and my mouth was set ablaze. This Dan Dan was searingly spicy. So spicy, in fact, that I couldn't down more than a few additional noodles before my eyes started welling up with tears due to the tongue-scorching pain.

Happily, my tongue survived. And, several glasses of water later, I was even ready for more noodles -- sans chili oil.

For our last stop, we ventured to the modern, hand-pulled noodle eatery Foo Sing 88 and ordered up two massive bowls, one each of the House Special (pictured below) and Roast Duck varieties.

Unfortunately, Foo Sing doesn't come with a noodle making side show, but their chewy noodles were delightful, and the beef and duck broth that accompanied them were satisfying as well, both scented with a bit of clove and garlic to bring out all of the soups' rich meaty goodness. Each bowl was filled with copious amounts of the handmade noodles, big pieces of meat -- whether roasted duck, tender beef short rib, tripe, beef tendon or more -- a handful of leafy greens and the House Special also featured a fried egg atop.

It was a challenge, but we laid waste to both helpings.

That said, we did pay a price.

We'd finally done it. We were full. Too full.

There were still other places on our noodle must-do list, including Yogee and Super Taste, but we were too stuffed to carry on.

Our ravenous appetites and lust for noodles had been conquered after only three stops on the Chinatown express.

It was shameful.

Yet, I know we'll live to slurp again. And another Chinatown noodle crawl will be in order -- soon.

Hungry For More

15 East, tucked around the corner from bustling Union Square, is an oasis of calm. Its tranquil, contemporary dining room and serene servers are the perfect compliment to the restaurant's sublime Japanese fare. The sushi was transcendent. And, frankly, I wouldn't expect anything less from Chef Masato Shimizu, formerly of the now-faded East Village fave Jewel Bako.

My friends Lo, Paula and I couldn't help but moan with delight as we tucked into an array of goodies from the sushi bar -- Slow-Poached Octopus with Sea Salt, Japanese Snapper Sashimi with Ponzu Sauce, Sweet Sea Urchin, and a 10-piece Omakase Sushi Platter (pictured above) that thrilled with each bite.

Unfortunately, for all our throws of pleasure, there seemed to be one thing missing: We were still hungry.

Now, that wouldn't have been a problem if 15 East's menu wasn't so darn pricey, but none of us wanted to fork over the entire contents of our wallets for another forkful, no matter how divine.

So, with our palates still happily humming and our stomachs still sadly grumbling, we rounded the corner and headed straight to Republic. A few sundry apps and a bowl of Asian noodles later and we were sated -- and the bill came to less than a quarter of the cost of 15 East.

Admittedly though, Republic's noodles are only a pale facsimile of the real deal, but we made do. Then again, why make do when Manhattan is home to a host of fine hand-stretched noodle hot spots in Chinatown? At that moment though, I was too full to want to wander down to East Broadway for authentic Chinese fare.

But, I wouldn't stay full forever...

Passing Strange - Plus Supper

This past Tuesday night my pal Sandra and I enjoyed a riveting theatrical experience -- from a Broadway musical no less.

No, no, I'm not talking about the latest "Disney comes to Broadway" extravaganza.

The hybrid musical, concert, performance art that is the new Broadway show Passing Strange -- the story of a black man's journey from South Central Los Angeles to the red light district of Amsterdam to the artist colonies of Berlin and back to South Central once again -- is an energetic, thoughtful and soulful good time.

As the ladies of the Haddasah theater groups from Long Island would say: This show is something to kvell about!

But after the curtain came down, Sandra and I were lost. Where to go next? What dinner could possibly match, or even augment, the evening's entertainment?

Is there such a thing as South Central LA cuisine?

Next thought was an ode to Amsterdam. That was a toughy. There isn't a Dutch restaurant in Manhattan.

Hmmm...We could pay tribute to Berlin. Hallo Berlin wasn't too far from the theater.

Then we walked outside.

The cold air didn't just bite, it slapped. It slapped hard.

Forget, Los Angeles, Amsterdam and Berlin. We were in New York and New York was damn cold. Frigid. Freakin' freezing! All we could muster was a two block walk to the middling Havana Central for food that only barely reminded us of the tropics.

Then again, they do have palm trees in South Central, don't they? And, the word "Central" is in the name of the restaurant.

Loose connections at best, but after a show that enthralling, neither Sandra nor I needed more than mediocre rice and beans to complete the evening.

But if anyone wants to venture a guess on what constitutes South Central LA cuisine, I'm all ears.

A Beef With Westland/Hallmark Beef

This is one of those news stories that can make you sick to your stomach, if you aren't sick from Westland/Hallmark beef already:

The U.S. Department of Agriculture on Sunday ordered the recall of 143 million pounds of frozen beef from a California slaughterhouse, the subject of an animal-abuse investigation, that provided meat to school lunch programs.

Officials said it was the largest beef recall in the United States, surpassing a 1999 ban of 35 million pounds of ready-to-eat meats...

Federal officials suspended operations at Westland/Hallmark after an undercover video from the Humane Society of the United States surfaced showing crippled and sick animals being shoved with forklifts.

Two former employees were charged Friday. Five felony counts of animal cruelty and three misdemeanors were filed against a pen manager. Three misdemeanor counts — illegal movement of a non-ambulatory animal — were filed against an employee who worked under that manager. Both were fired.

Authorities said the video showed workers kicking, shocking and otherwise abusing "downer" animals that were apparently too sick or injured to walk into the slaughterhouse. Some animals had water forced down their throats, San Bernardino County prosecutor Michael Ramos said.

No charges have been filed against Westland, but an investigation by federal authorities continues.

Officials estimate that about 37 million pounds of the recalled beef went to school programs, but they believe most of the meat probably has already been eaten.

The Love Lane

I hate Valentine's Day. Yes, I'm one of "those." But recently my bartender pal Maxwell Britten turned me around on the whole holiday.

Have I fallen in love with said mixologist?

Not quite. But, I have fallen in love with his new Valentine-themed cocktail - The Love Lane.

Named after a real-life romantically-dubbed alleyway in Brooklyn Heights, how could I resist Max's fizzy concoction of Prosecco, Harvest Syrup, House-made Brandy Poached Cherries (pictured above) and Rose Flower Water? Max recently took over bar stewardship at Jack The Horse Tavern and with the advent of The Love Lane, he has surely proven that he is an up-and-comer cocktailer, worthy of his leadership role behind the bar.

Here is a picture of the mixologist himself, holding a sparkling flute of the drink in question.

So, I may be averse to the charms of Valentine's Day, but I do hope The Love Lane stays on Jack The Horse's cocktail menu well after February 14th.

Ron Paul's Secret Southwestern Weapon

You might be tired of listening to all the back n' forth in political circles about Hillary Clinton, John McCain, Barack Obama and Mike Huckabee, but this is truly a presidential hopeful story for the ages - if not the watercooler, or better yet SNL:

As Ron Paul continues to trail in the polls, followers now face the harsh reality that their man of great promise has little to nil chance of winning the Republican primary, let alone the 2008 presidency. Yet, they are showing no signs of throwing in the towel. Instead, they are encouraged by reports from the Southwest of the phenomena of the image of Ron Paul appearing on tortillas as a sign from Heaven to continue the good fight...

If you too are moved by this tortilla tale, check out the whole saga on Spoof.com.

Note to Ron Paul: You may want to consider hiring the Spoof.com team to help out with the campaign. Seriously.

Noodling Around

According to the Chinese calendar, this Thursday officially kicked of The Year of the Rat.

The only thing that would be more appropriate for Chinese food lovin' New Yorkers would be if it were The Year of the Pigeon.

All that aside, New Yorkers admittedly have great affection for Chinese fare, even Americanized versions such as Chop Suey, General Tso's Chicken and alike. I don't think you can pass a block in this city without hitting a Chinese take-out joint.

Of course New Yorkers aren't alone in their love of Chinese food. (I'm sure the Chinese themselves are pretty fond of the stuff, although I understand that McDonald's is a big hit in Beijing.)

There are bustling Chinatowns in cities across the U.S., from Philly to Chicago to San Francisco. And, in fact, I was downright impressed with The Chicago Tribune's take on The Year of the Rat, with an in-depth feature package on Chinese noodles. From cultural and historical perspective to a handy glossary on oodles of noodles to a how-to video on making Egg Noodles with Asian Bolognese, they celebrated the importance of the noodle in Chinese cuisine.

Apparently, in Chinese culture, noodles represent long life. The longer the noodle, the longer the life.

So, this year, forget about the Dannon and go for the Dan-Dan!

House Frau Goulash

Great recipes can come from the oddest places.

In this case, I received a Goulash recipe via a friend of a friend, who in turn was friend of an actor friend of Marlene Dietrich.

Supposedly the original recipe card specimen was handwritten in German and included a signature from the "Blonde Venus" herself. And apparently, while Marlene made this for her actor friend, she was getting very drunk on Champagne, wearing no make-up, looking every bit the simple house frau standing over the stove cooking.

That said, I understand that the Goulash is wunderbar.

Marlene Dietrich's Goulash

1 lb stew meat
1 lb onions
3 tbs paprika
3 tbs caraway seeds
2 garlic
salt to taste
1 tbls tomato paste
1 dried red hot pepper

Cook all together. Reduce and add water. Continue to reduce add water....over the course of 4 hours.

BTW - I've also heard tale that Ms. Dietrich made a mean Apple Strudel. If anyone can get a hold of the recipe and send it my way, promise to post it!

Getting Lost

Drinking heavily is definitely way to lose yourself. I wouldn't recommend it. Instead, I say hunker down in front of the boob tube to watch the new season of "Lost," prepare some tropical-inspired grub, invite a bartender pal to come over to whip up authentic Tiki drinks, and grab a few die-hard fans to join in the festivities.

It can be a helluva good time.

I speak from experience.

This past Thursday night's "Lost" party was the culmination of months of planning and month's of anticipation to find out what would happen to Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Charlie, Hurley, Locke and the whole gang. In tribute to the show's tropical island locale, I prepared a host of inspired dishes, from Chilled Shrimp Cocktail with a Curried Mango-Papaya Dipping Sauce to Tropical Salmon Ceviche and Roasted Pork Loin with Pineapple-Avocado Salsa (pictured below) to Coconut Sorbet.

But the real tropical treat came in the form of brilliant cocktails shaken and stirred by my pal Max, the bartender who is currently carrying the mixology torch at Jack The Horse Tavern. It was Max, in fact, who had been my cohort in creating the whole evening's repast. And, it was his series of Tiki cocktails that made everyone feel like they were lost and found all at once. (Not that watching Hurley talking to the the ghost of Charlie wasn't darn satisfying too!)

The all around favorite was Max's version of the classic Polynesian drink The Zombie (pictured below).

It goes without saying that I highly recommend you make one for yourself and your loved ones when you tune into "Lost" next week. Just one warning - With this much rum involved be careful, lest you end up drunk enough to talk to Charlie's ghost too.

The Zombie

1 oz. fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 oz. fresh squeezed lime juice
1 oz. pineapple juice
1 oz. passionfruit nectar
1 tsp. brown sugar
1 oz. white rum
1 oz. gold rum
1 1/2 oz. dark rum
1 dash Angostura bitters

Shake furiously. Serve over ice.