VittlesVamp

The Putnam County Donut Rebellion

First Putnam County had a famous elementary school spelling bee. Now the county has its very own famous senior citizen donut revolt.

According to today's New York Times, health officials have been trying to put a halt to the free donuts dispensed at a local senior citizen center. And, let's just say that the old folks aren't taking the donut denial lightly:

Joe Hajkowski, a 75-year-old retired sprinkler fitter who lives in nearby Putnam Valley, is a man on a mission: to reinstate the free doughnuts at the day center for older people here that he visits regularly.

It doesn’t even matter that he usually skips the sugary snacks, indulging only on the rare early-morning fishing jaunt. “I don’t eat those things, but at my age, I don’t need to be told I can’t,” said the craggy-faced Mr. Hajkowski. “We’re being treated like senile citizens, not senior citizens.”

Mr. Hajkowski was referring to a four-month dispute here, about 50 miles north of Midtown Manhattan, which has attracted the attention of the national news media — and pitted the public health monitors in Putnam County against its elders’ belief in their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of a leftover cruller.

It all started in May, when William H. Huestis, director of the Putnam County Office for the Aging, decided to take the morning doughnuts, muffins, bread and other donated, day-old baked goods away from the William Koehler Memorial Senior Center in Mahopac and from centers in four other towns in the county...

...In short order, Mr. Hajkowski and his doughnut-deprived comrades struck back, sending Mr. Huestis a petition with more than 250 signatures. It said: “We want our donuts back. We are old enough to know whether we should eat them or not.”...

...Now Mr. Hajkowski and his cadre of about a dozen hard-core supporters are upping the ante. In a side room at the Mahopac center on Tuesday, while about 80 of their peers hunkered down in a bright, airy dining room for an intense hour of postprandial bingo, Mr. Hajkowski and five others showed off posters they intended to brandish at protests in front of the various centers. (They plan to picket sometime in the next two weeks, Mr. Hajkowski revealed guardedly.)

“Our Choice: Death by Lethal Donuts,” read one placard.

Another read: “They’re Carbs, Not Contraband.”

“We’re all smart seniors,” said Bea Paniconi, 76, of Mahopac, a retired legal secretary and the only woman in Mr. Hajkowski’s doughnut corps. “We have the right to choose what we can eat.”

She said that adding to her daily diet a jelly doughnut and a serving of a liquid nutritional supplement had helped her increase her weight above a very frail 75 pounds. “My doctor said to keep up the good work,” she added.

Gee whiz! This might have the makings of a hit Broadway musical!

Shake Shack To The Rescue

Admittedly, I was concerned. Borough Food & Drink had garnered high praise for its hamburger. Yet, I found it rather disappointing.

Was it possible that my taste buds had died? Or could I have finally given up the ghost on my burger obsession?

One visit to Shake Shack and the answer to both questions became a resounding NO.

I rustled up a Double Shackburger (pictured above) and found its combination of meaty patties, melted American cheese, lettuce, tomato, shacksauce and eggy bun was deeply satisfying in an all-American way. The glossing of butter (or was it just burger grease?) that settled onto the bottom of the bun was a particulary decadent and welcome touch.

So, no need to mourn my tastebuds and burgers are still on my "must do" list.

Whew!

Red Hook Redux

The past week or so has kept me on tenterhooks. Would the DOH shut down the latino food vendors at the Red Hook ball fields?

One stall already bit the dust. Would others follow?

To me, a year without a pilgrimage to the Red Hook Park soccer fields for Pupusas, Quesadillas, Taquitos and Ceviche is unfathomable.

And, thankfully, it looks like the vendors are safe for the summer season - but who knows what next year will bring.

So even though I'd paid call recently, this weekend I felt compelled to take a trip to the corner of Bay and Clinton Streets, with my heart heavy, stomach grumbling and camera at the ready...

Let's just hope that the DOH never gives me reason to sing "The Way We Were" when I look at these photos. (Besides, I'm tone-deaf!)

Bruschetta

The perfect summer dinner for two. Bruschetta. Four kinds. Two of each.

Toasted slabs of bread doused with extra-virgin olive oil and rubbed with a plump garlic clove.

I topped two with vinegary Italian white anchovies, sweet and mouthpuckering all at once. Another pair was christened with bright green basil leaves, roasted red pepper, slices of hard-boiled egg, granules of sea salt, cracked pepper and a drizzle of garlic oil. The next two were graced with chunks of grilled artichoke hearts and slivers of sharp provolone. I squeezed out all of the flavorful pulp and juices from a Black Prince tomato on the final two, and then piled thinly sliced proscuitto on top of the tomatoey goodness.

Needless to say, I'm thinking another Bruschetta dinner will be had before the summer's close. Feel free to share topping suggestions.

Borough's Burger - Not Well-Done

I'm wondering if there is something terribly wrong with my tastebuds.

Last night, I went to Chef Zak Pelaccio's new hot spot Borough Food & Drink, all cranked up to try the burger that won a coveted spot in New York Magazine's City's Best Burger List and an even more coveted rave from the meat master himself - Josh Ozersky (aka Mr. Cutlets).

The dining room was throbbing with hyped up New Yorkers totally giving into the restaurant's sceney vibe. Noise levels were deafening, but no one seemed to mind. The menu looked awesome. People looked happy. Drinks seemed to be flowing at a pretty rapid pace. All in all, what I'd expect from a new Flatiron destination restaurant.

Then the burger arrived.

The bun was squished beyond recognition, but the patty was promisingly mammoth, and it came with a slice of Heirloom tomato that put me in the mood. One bite though, and I sent it right back into the kitchen. The sucker was well-done. Very well-done. Flavorless.

Within minutes they brought me a replacement burger. The bun still looked way too squished and Wonder Bread-like for my sensibilities, but hopefully the new medium-rare patty would make up for the bread's failings. I piled it up with the slice of tomato, thinly sliced onions and lettuce, adding a dollop of ketchup for good measure. I took a bite.

Blech!

Could it be? New York Magazine gave this hamburger a THREE Ketchup Squeeze Bottle salute. Josh Ozersky LAVISHED praise on this patty!

I took another bite to be sure.

Blech!

It was - dare I say it? - bland! And the texture was more mushy than meaty.

I was flummoxed. Had I lost my tastebuds? Is it possible that Borough Food & Drink had lost their golden burger touch? Or could it simply be that after all my fascination with burgers as of late, that I'd finally lost a taste for them?

There's only one way to find out - a visit to the ultimate New York hamburger destination: Shake Shack. Clearly, a field trip is a must-do. Anyone care to join me?

Fried

Let's be honest, fried food is good.

Bad for you, but darn good.

And I'm sorry, I just can't believe that the removal of artificial trans-fats is enough to make a Deep Fried Oreo a wholesome snack. Still, according to today's New York Times, deep fried fans are trying their best to make fried fare a bit more heart healthy:

The deep-fried Combo Plate may be a little more healthful this year at the Great Indiana State Fair. So say the fair’s leaders, who, taking a step rarely seen in the realm of corn dogs and fried pickles, have banned oils with trans fats from all the fryers that line the grounds here.

The change is only the latest in a string of bans on artificial trans fats. Tied to health problems including heart disease, they have been banished by national restaurant chains, snack brands and New York City, which forbids restaurants to use them in food preparation.

But this is perhaps the most unlikely locale yet: the nation’s classic summer fair, long seen as one final safe haven from the health police.

Along the steamy thoroughfare here, where only sensitive palates can distinguish among the various cuts of potato (curly fries, ribbon fries and the old standby, French), fairgoers seemed pleased with the switch. The food tasted the same, they said happily. And if this meant they could indulge without guilt or have one more helping, so much the better.

“This is a slice of heaven,” said Ryan Howell, 31, as he cradled his Combo Plate, which, for the record, consists of one battered Snickers bar, two battered Oreos and a battered Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup — all deep-fried in oil that is trans-fat free, thank goodness.

Hmm. Makes me want to run out to my local Chips Shop and order up a Deep Atkins Bar. (I'm such a health nut!)

Heirloom Tomatoes, Lillet Rouge & Cupid

Gorgeous, ripe tomatoes were in full force this past Thursday at the Brooklyn Borough Hall Greenmarket. Red. Orange. Bright Yellow. A veritable rainbow. The Heirlooms looked particularly magnificent. Ugly, yet beautiful. I couldn't resist.

I hoped they'd be a splendid starter for a Friday night dinner I was throwing for Mr. L and Mr. P, the fabulously fabulous gay couple down the hall. L is a publishing exec with a flawless sense of fashion and an eye for fine art. P is a well-heeled and well-regarded furniture designer. A perfectly matched duo, they share a very expensive hobby - or more like a very expensive obsession. Together, they travel the world over, in search of the globe's finest culinary experiences. From Buenos Aires to Tokyo, they've wined and dined. And, only the very best will do.

Now, they were coming to my apartment.

I was ready. I was armed with Heirlooms. I sliced five juicy specimens with care, topped them with soft Bufala Mozzarella, fresh Basil, Sea Salt and Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Messrs. L and P swooned with delight.

Buenos Aires and Tokyo can eat their hearts out. My apartment is where it's at!

We made short work of the the brilliant Caprese, washing it down with L's refreshing riff on a 19th Century cocktail - Lillet Rouge, Maker's Mark Bourbon, lemon juice and fizzy Limonata soda. Delish!

Thyme-Garlic Roast Chicken with Bread Salad and Warm Berry-Pecan Crisp with homemade Sweet Corn Pudding Ice Cream followed. Every morsel was well-received.

Yay! I'd done good. Mr. L and Mr. P are tough critics, but I'd won them over.

Then, while sipping after-dinner Amaro, L and P won me over - with a proposition. They wanted to find me a man.

Yes, you read right.

This polished pair couldn't for the life of them understand why I hadn't been snapped up by Mr. Right.

What could I say? I've gone out with a number of men. And, I've had a lot of fun along the way. But still...I don't know why I haven't found Mr. Right (or Mr. Vamp as it were).

On the flipside, I'm really great at picking out Heirloom Tomatoes!

Apparently, L and P think they can lend a helping hand in finding my ideal match. A match made in heaven - much like Heirloom Tomatoes, Bufala Mozzarella, fresh Basil, Sea Salt and Extra-Virgin Oil. (Then again, a Caprese Salad is an orgy of ingredients. I'm looking for something a little more one-on-one. Maybe Peanut Butter and Chocolate would be a better analogy under the circumstances.)

So, we'll see what the neighbors whip up for yours truly. Goodness knows, they do have fantastic taste. And, considering L and P's own gourmet ways, I hope their "dish" comes equipped with a love for fine food and fine drink - in addition to a love for one very fine woman.

Himalayan Yak

To my mind, Jackson Heights, Queens is really the crossroads of the world. The United Nations has nothing on this ethnically diverse 'hood. From Ecuador to Nepal, it's all represented in this culinary melting pot.

Happily for me, I have a regular excuse to visit. My pal Queen Celeste and her adorable babe Tallulah reside in a genteel apartment away from the neighborhood's crazy throng. But no sooner did I down a glass of Iced Tea at Queen Celeste's home yesterday, when we three were off and running straight into the throng - straight to a Tibetan restaurant - straight to Himalayan Yak.

Yak. Yum!

Our little party consisted of the only non-Asians in the dining room. Hmm. Good sign. The selection of housemade dipping sauces (pictured above) was another early indication that we were in for an authentic experience. Avocado-Tomato, bright spicy Sesame, searing Roasted Chili, and burning Sweet Chili.

As I said before: Yak. Yum!

From Goat Brain to Tibetan Beef Sausages, the menu was mesmerizing.

But those enticing goodies weren't destined to land on our table. The Queen is a vegetarian. Tallulah is only a bit older than one, and her wee palate isn't quite ready for exotica. On top of those road bumps, I had a feeling that our waitress directed us to the more "caucasian-friendly" items on the menu.

Harumph!

In the end, our lunch - the order of doughy Vegetable Dumplings in particular - wasn't nearly as flavorful as the dipping sauces. Still, the far-flung menu and zesty sauces alone are enough to inspire a return visit for more Himalayan fare. Don't know if I'll go as far-flung as to try the Goat Brain, but you never know. Those sauces can make just about anything taste good!

Batali BBQ

Earlier today, the orange clogged one appeared before me - and there was nary a bowl of pasta or pizza pie in sight.

Instead, meaty smoked Pork Ribs and tender, fat-laced Moist Brisket were on hand (or should I say "on butcher paper").

Yes, a Mario Batali spotting at Hill Country of all places! Lunching with a pal of mine from Serious Eats, we couldn't help but be curious about Mario's visit.

Was he simply in search of Texas-style smoked goodness? Or could Molto Mario be considering a BBQ undertaking of his very own?

DOH Giving the Red Hook Vendors the Hook?

Just when I thought it was safe to venture to Red Hook for a Pupusa, looks like the DOH might disband the latin food vendors before the end of the season. According to The Porkchop Express:

Due to forces of nature (rains, floods, transit delays) Cesar Fuentes was on his own meeting with big guns from both the Department of Health and the Parks Department. Long story short, the Food Vendors of Red Hook Park have about 10 days to “be compliant” with the DOH's “major concerns.” By Sunday August 19th they must:

store more ice in coolers
acquire portable hand washers/sanitation units
wear sterile gloves and change said gloves regularly
have a source of running water to wash hands, tacos, etc.
rent commercial grade kitchens to prep food, or prepare everything on-site

Most significantly, The Powers That Be want everyone who works at a stand to be licensed. Anyone associated with a tent – from corn shuckers to pupusa stuffers – must undergo a training session to obtain a mobile food vending license. At present, only 12 tent operators are licensed; this number will (must) more than quadruple.

C'mon! This is getting ridiculous. The ball field vendors were just featured on a Travel Channel Bizarre Foods special about New York, for goodness sake! I think it's time they got some sort of special culinary cultural icon status from the city. Mayor Bloomberg, please help!!!