I've always adored the Grand Central Oyster Bar - for the sweeping Guastavino architecture, for the vaguely fishy odor that hits you when you enter, for their amazing wine list, for their amazing oyster list, for - simply put - simply being a New York classic. When I usually go, I head straight for the Saloon in the back, a well-tended room with a purposefully stale 1974 aura, and one of the city's best bartenders - Alex.
So, when I asked my friend Joy to meet me at the Oyster Bar before we headed to the theater last Friday night, I immediately grabbed a stool at the bar in the Saloon and waited for her arrival. And waited. Hmm. It wasn't like Joy to be late. I called her. She answered. Apparently she was in the restaurant. The problem: She had forgotten the route to the Saloon and had plunked herself down at a table in the front bar.
I'd actually never experienced the small front bar before. Could it be as wonderful as the Saloon? I paid my check, grabbed my glass of Tohu Sauvignon Blanc and headed out to her table.
She had already ordered a bottle of bubbly - bubbly water that is. And, we sipped and settled into our menus, confident that we could settle on a few apps before we had to head to the theater for an 8pm curtain. It was 6:20. Plenty of time for a quick snack. Hmm. Where's our waitress? She was taking a while. Joy finally flagged her down. We immediately set about ordering and asked her opinion between a few selections.
She made a face. "You know I've only been working here a couple weeks and I already can't stand the smell or taste of seafood. Mind you, everything is fresh here, but still. I can't really help you."
Hmm. Not a ringing endorsement for the restaurant. At least I knew better when it came to the oysters. We ordered 8, as well as a Crab Cocktail and a piece of raw Sea Urchin for Joy. We also threw in a glass of the Tohu for good measure, to help Joy unwind before the show too.
The waitress scurried off. And, we waited. And waited. And waited. She returned with the oysters and one small plate. We let her know that we'd need another plate, since there were two of us - and that we'd also love some bread.
She scurried off again. And, we waited. And waited. And waited. She returned with the Crab Cocktail - and an updated check. No plate. No wine. No bread. No urchin.
Needless to say, it took a good long time to get those items - each arriving individually and some never at all. At 40 minutes to curtain we asked about the missing Sea Urchin. She admitted that she had completely forgotten about it. She promptly disappeared, returning a full 10 minutes later to inform us that the kitchen was out of it.
Aargh!
We told her to just forget it. We just wanted to pay our bill and go. We were in a rush. Joy inspected the bill and gave her a credit card. Another 5 minutes passed. Were we actually going to miss curtain?!? She finally returned with the bill for Joy to sign.
Wait a second. The bill had mysteriously increased by over $10 - and the waitress had disappeared again. Joy was just going to sign - but I convinced her that at this point we were going to management.
We rushed up to the desk and immediately informed several managers at the station about the problem. Sure enough, the waitress had added an extra glass of wine to our tab. "Perhaps she had accidentally thought she should bill me for the glass of wine I had purchased in the Saloon" - I said. But now Joy was furious - "Even if she did think that was the case, it is unethical to present one bill for payment and then, without a word about it, ring in a higher tab with my card."
I couldn't disagree. And, then we just started in on her poor service in general, while management fixed the check and apologized, nodding knowingly, admitting that this new waitress wasn't "working out." We quickly signed - avec no tip - and rushed out the door.
Nary a cab in sight. Oh, no! 15 minutes to spare. Our four feet flapped as fast as they could - and we made it right before curtain.
Next time - Joy will meet me at the bar in the Saloon.
